How do you put yourself first and live your own “authentic life”?

Its like the safety demonstration on a plane - put your own safety mask on BEFORE you help others. Why? Well simply put you can’t give from an empty cup. If you are not working at your best, able to show up as your best self, then how can you expect to be able to cope well with the day to day and support the other people in your life?

Don’t worry, I have had to learn this lesson the hard way :) It was pointed out to me (not all that long ago!) that I continue to run my life first for my business/clients, then for my family and lastly for myself. And this is at the core of my own burnout. So I am learning (yes, I’m a work in progress too) to turn this around.

Here’s what I am working on:

1. Working out what I want my life to look like - work, personal, relationships and so on. And writing this down. I have used a number of different tools to help me to clarify this. I have come to the conclusion that what I really value, what is important to me is: making a difference, having independence, my family and being resourceful.
2. Identifying my “non-negotiables” to look after my basic needs every day. Now this one changes from time to time, and if you have followed me on the socials for a while, I have talked about this a couple of times. Right now, my non-negotiables are time outside, exercise, time to myself every day.
3. Prioritising the changes that I can make right now. I recently wrote a list of everything that needs to happen for me to fulfil my personal values. Then I picked 1 thing to start with - for me it was creating more space in my week to have the independence that I have been seeking.
4. Make that first change, see how it settles, then make the next one.
5. Challenge myself every day to live to my core goals, stick to my non-negotiables and check in to see how I’m doing.

After this I need to work on what is my personal crisis plan - what I need to do when everything falls in a heap and I feel completely overwhelmed with it all.

Phew! It’s a lot. But with the support of my own mentors I am working through this process and am pleased to report it really does work! Like so many women, I have spent so much time and energy in my adult life looking out for and after others, putting my work and family before my own needs, and it gets really wearing. Living my life for myself first gives me more balance, so I can show up an be much more engaged and happy spending time and energy with the other parts of my life - especially my family and friends. What changes can you make to live for yourself first?

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